​A nurse charged with the murder of two elderly patients in her care yesterday wept in court as she admitted spiralling into drug addiction and stealing medication after becoming ‘‘emotionally exhausted”.

Rachel Baker, 44, broke down in tears as she told how she was ‘‘ashamed” and ‘‘disgusted” with herself for diverting medication from frail residents in her care. Baker denied the murder of Frances Hay, 85, by administering a lethal dose of prescription drugs at Parkfields Care Home in Butleigh, Somerset, in November, 2007. She also denied killing Lucy Cox, 97, two months later by administering a lethal dose of the painkiller Tramadol.

Yesterday, Baker shook and broke down in tears as she told of her ‘‘love” for the residents who she said she had “adopted” as her family.

The court heard Baker started taking prescription drugs from residents to control anxiety and help with sleeplessness in 2005 following the death of cancer-stricken resident Fred Green.

Bristol Crown Court heard Baker also suffered ‘‘agony” from back pain and sciatica, which was aggravated when she helped lift Fred Green out of bed.

When asked by defence counsel Richard Smith why she started abusing drugs, Baker replied: ‘‘Because of the stress, pain and emotional turmoil in my head.

‘‘I needed to keep going and keep functioning, and I tried to refocus myself and carry on with my job, although my role became different following the death of Fred.

‘‘I was in constant pain in my stress was everything. I had the migraines, which were constant and suffered from deep emotional pain following the death of Fred.

‘‘When he was gone I felt empty – that I was useless and there was a huge gap in my life.” She added that the stress of running the care home left her mentally drained, coupled with constantly being on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

‘‘I had no support from anyone. I was expected to constantly save money and the care home was fitted with furniture and pictures from my home,” she said.

‘‘I did the all the painting and decorating.”

The court heard Baker stole one Tramadol tablet from Mr Green and then deteriorated into drug addiction, before going on to steal pethidine and diamorphine from residents.

When asked how she felt about stealing drugs from residents to feed her addiction, Baker tearfully said: ‘‘Disgusted and ashamed for everything I have put people through.

‘‘I betrayed their trust. They cared for me and I betrayed their trust and that of everybody who has tried to support me.

‘‘I am totally, totally ashamed and disgusted at what I have done.”

Baker, who became a registered nurse in November 1987, took over the day-to-day running of the care home from boyfriend Leigh’s parents in 2000, when they cared for 16 patients.

She became addicted to non-prescription drugs in late 2005, when she started diverting medication from patients.

But Baker denies ever putting the lives of her residents at risk and says she was always in control and able to care for them.

Baker was responsible for administering medication while husband Leigh helped with the day-to-day responsibilities.

She allegedly administered an overdose to two patients in 2006 and 2007, before altering medical records to hide her addiction from police and the authorities.

The jury were yesterday offered alternative charges to consider in relation to the murder indictments.

The prosecution told the jury they could find Baker guilty of manslaughter or attempted murder against Frances Hay or manslaughter against Lucy Cox if they rejected the murder charge.

Baker previously admitted eight counts of possession of class A and class C drugs and yesterday admitted a further two.

She denies murder and intending to pervert the course of justice.

The trial continues.