Frome RFC captain's column: Don't blame me if our next win causes chaos!
In a week in which we discovered no one has eaten a cow since about 1980, blazing meteors really do rain down from the skies and great bolts of lightning can hit your house if you irritate God, I feel a little inapt telling you the news that Frome have won another game of rugby.
In fact, if I'm honest, I'm starting to feel a little paranoid. Every time my lads win a game of rugby, a near apocalyptic news event coincides.
So I'll state it for the record here and now. If we manage to churn out a fourth successive victory next weekend and subsequently a great flood wipes out the Vatican, or it's revealed people have actually been eating human-meat hotdogs – it's pure coincidence. I refuse to be held responsible.
The only thing more remarkable than the dramatic recent news agenda is arguably my scoring form. Our away win at Dorchester and home victory over Walcot has coincided with yours truly scoring four tries.
Business Cards From Only £10.95 Delivered www.myprint-247.co.ukView details
Our heavyweight cards have FREE UV silk coating, FREE next day delivery & VAT included. Choose from 1000's of pre-designed templates or upload your own artwork. Orders dispatched within 24hrs.
Terms: Visit our site for more products: Business Cards, Compliment Slips, Letterheads, Leaflets, Postcards, Posters & much more. All items are free next day delivery. www.myprint-247.co.uk
Contact: 01858 468192
Valid until: Wednesday, May 22 2013
It's nothing short of a miracle when you consider my knees are weaker than a bevy of schoolgirls' patellas at a Take That concert.
In my 20-year playing career I've probably scored less tries than there have been Popes. It's no surprise then that the yardage I carried the ball for these four recent scores could be easily measured in centimetres.
The hard work for each try has come from my fellow forwards. It's very generous of them to allow their dear old skipper to venture across the tryline at this stage in his career. The generosity really has been appreciated and I'd like to take this chance to thank them.
The 3rd XI have continued their fine run of form as their impressive league season goes on and it would appear I'm not the only forward at the club who's earned the reputation of being odds-on to score of late.
No less than ten tries have come from three galloping front-row players in Mark O'Shea's team in the last four weeks.
If their increasingly frequent trots across the tryline continue, it won't be long before tests reveal they are 60 per cent horse meat.
This weekend sees the return of the RBS Six Nations and I'm sure there will be no horsing around when England take on their old foes France.
Stuart Lancaster's boys are unbeaten and in a stable condition compared to the other home nations, but there's still many hurdles to jump and England haven't won the Grand Slam furlong time.
Let's just hope it's France, and not England, that have the long faces at the end of Saturday's match.